Sunday, April 7, 2013

Learning That If I cant Be Real I cant be Me...

Hello 2013 !!!

                Hello world I'm looking so forward to this year I've come a long way and after the last year I'm hopeing and Praying to continue to be Happy Blessed and Healthy. I have lost and Gained a lot this year and have learned more than I ever imagined Lesson in strangest of places from the unlikeliest people and  Places. I continue to Pray meditate an keep A relationship with God. I love my Parents  Family and my Jobs. I am Finally Finding Balance  in my Life. I'm still a Lonely soul but I know I'm never alone. I've been called Sweet, Loving, selfish, and Mean all in the same sentence. I have been hurt and i have definitely hurt others.  I'm sure that none of it was intentional but when your being really honest the truth hurts. But I love you the same however this has not been well received. I have changed I have...And i want to be real  and real honest but there is a fine line between me being who I was and who I am now This will take time and if you love people the way you say things can be the difference in yes I understand what your saying and I don't think I can forgive you . You must be able to care enough to speak your truth in Love and anger and be smart enough to know the difference when it's someone you care about.  I have found out that i can be ugly and get ugly with the worst of them and that i can forgive but I hardly ever forget.  That I am know better than the disrespectful fool if I let His disrespect hurt or harm my love for my Friendships or the People we hurt in the crossfire. I now know when to walk away when its a fight I know i don't even want to win anymore and that knot in my stomach is the warning sign to get up and get going . I am learning to clear my heart and head and get rid of hurt, harm, and anger that will ruin me if I let it!  I am looking forward to the life I'm living the ups and downs the laughs and cries. I have been Blessed in so many ways now that I'm working through the worst of me I can get back to being The Best of Me. For myself and those who look to me for love and inspiration....I'm Looking Forward to This Brand new Kind of me... I can Honestly say at 34 I'm the closest I've ever been to being the happiest best me possible.

                                                                      Live Life and Drink Up!!!!