Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Friday, November 8, 2013

Friday, September 20, 2013

The Letter....

Dear Tiffany

Beautiful sweet hardworking girl. Although you think your living and may not have the time but I wanna share with you a lil insight to help you figure out some things to quiet the voice in ur head that you share only in your writing. Keep writing and singing it will be great for you to look back and say. Wow that was me! Thats what I thought or Ive been there. For your three Blessings to see in black and white just how and who you were... Trust they will ask. Talk to your parents kiss and hug them ask them to share their stories. Your Dad is a tough cookie and loves you listen to a remember his voice not long from now he will never sound as good as he did when you were 13 & he put the gold heart shaped charm  around your neck andvsaid dontvtake it if you'll lose it!!!
No matter what you think right now this is the begining of a healing process for you both. And one day it will be your job to tell his story and you'll will be proud of the man , Father, and Marine that he will forever be... He'll always be difficult and proud but he truly loves you he loves all his children and that's something you didn't know. Your mothercstrives off if the energy you provide keep supporting and loving her and thatvday you turn fifteen and she hits that switch where she hates you.... Be patient you realize whats happening and you try to do what's right it will work out! Just wait and see. Play laugh dance with your brothers and sisters this time was taken for granted and yall will be hundreds of miles apart sometimes not even speaking. These are the good old days. Don't trust boys!!! And watch out for those men who are starting to look. Ppl come in and out of your life if they were meant to be there they'll come back. You will never be taller or slimmer than you are now enjoy that! How i wish i could tell you to beg your mom to invest in equinox you wanted to but she was like what do you know about investing.  be patient all good things come to those who listen and watch. And ppl will ask you for advice one day... Keep your hair natural... Relaxes will only hurt your hair not help (personal experience)... Learn to really love you ask you where are u going? what do you want and need? Respect others respect yourself but this is your time to be selfish take it and run. You are an amazing woman who will grow be a good kind hearted and yes she's been told. She's amazing... But she wants you to knowvthat all thevhell and heartbreak the embarrassment and loneliness. Was not for nothing it taught you its ok to be alone to learn from hurt. And that disappointments and pain make you stronger. And there is another side to life if you just hold on keep Praying and dreaming... Never give up or in... Its all yours to have just Go Get It!!!!!


I always wanted to be Brave and I wanted to teach my children that being Brave and having Faith. Was the way to live, survive, and stand for something. So I asked them in what way was I brave and have I taught you to be and what ways do you believe you are brave? My daughter said. Yes... By standing up for yourself and us & not careing what others think of you... She said she was brave because i taught her to do what was right and because she can lead and be an example. My youngest son said yes because you never let anything get in your way... And im brave because im growing up and learning to be strong i don't cry as much. And I stand up for my friends and brave cause i am.
You taught me to eldest son hasn't gotten back yet but i will post his answer... I hope that im teaching them just what they said to be brave and be themselves to be true to there character and to make them proud of who they are.   My oldest son said yes your brave you were brave enough to let me move with my dad half way across the us because you cared about what i wanted. you were brave rnough to want me happy even if you werent. Your brave because you care for and help people.
You taught me to do the same no matter what others say or think u taught me to do what was right and fair. 
And i know thats why you named me Justus... 
You honor what you stand for in my name abd just standing gor something takes a lot so yes mom you are brave in my to me.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Letter to my 13 year old self!!!

As look back at this very short life that I've lived I think back especially when I see my children making decision living there lives blind, careful, happy and by Faith and trusting that we as adults will help guide them in the right direction. Without making them feel valued a capable of making their own decisions and choices. LOL! I remember feeling that way... Or thinking because my Parents were either to real or didn't comment at all. Don't get me wrong  they did there best I was secretive and worried I would be judged as I often felt I was being in the middle of seven children when I think back to the warnings I would give to my own self I shudder at the though that My children will have to live through some of these same let downs, hurdles and heartbreaks. Life has taught me so much but so much of it comes down to trusting who you are and we must first be able to recognize trust in order to be able to know what it is  or to be able to give it. And who in fact to not give and Bless with this special gift of TRUST! Moments in my life have been made and or devastated by the fact that I trusted the wrong People or the fact that I didn't trust Myself enough. Here is a letter to the Broken but Strong Girl I was then.

My Dearest Tiffany,

                               I write this letter with the hope that it will help you or someone else move on and move mountains just being who the are they are.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Learning That If I cant Be Real I cant be Me...

Hello 2013 !!!

                Hello world I'm looking so forward to this year I've come a long way and after the last year I'm hopeing and Praying to continue to be Happy Blessed and Healthy. I have lost and Gained a lot this year and have learned more than I ever imagined Lesson in strangest of places from the unlikeliest people and  Places. I continue to Pray meditate an keep A relationship with God. I love my Parents  Family and my Jobs. I am Finally Finding Balance  in my Life. I'm still a Lonely soul but I know I'm never alone. I've been called Sweet, Loving, selfish, and Mean all in the same sentence. I have been hurt and i have definitely hurt others.  I'm sure that none of it was intentional but when your being really honest the truth hurts. But I love you the same however this has not been well received. I have changed I have...And i want to be real  and real honest but there is a fine line between me being who I was and who I am now This will take time and if you love people the way you say things can be the difference in yes I understand what your saying and I don't think I can forgive you . You must be able to care enough to speak your truth in Love and anger and be smart enough to know the difference when it's someone you care about.  I have found out that i can be ugly and get ugly with the worst of them and that i can forgive but I hardly ever forget.  That I am know better than the disrespectful fool if I let His disrespect hurt or harm my love for my Friendships or the People we hurt in the crossfire. I now know when to walk away when its a fight I know i don't even want to win anymore and that knot in my stomach is the warning sign to get up and get going . I am learning to clear my heart and head and get rid of hurt, harm, and anger that will ruin me if I let it!  I am looking forward to the life I'm living the ups and downs the laughs and cries. I have been Blessed in so many ways now that I'm working through the worst of me I can get back to being The Best of Me. For myself and those who look to me for love and inspiration....I'm Looking Forward to This Brand new Kind of me... I can Honestly say at 34 I'm the closest I've ever been to being the happiest best me possible.

                                                                      Live Life and Drink Up!!!!