Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Meditate Me!!!
Miracles and Blessings
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
From This size.....
Hi All... Its been a while since I posted and so much has happened in my life well summer is here and school is out. I couldnt be happier to spend time with my kids I have recently found out that my oldest son j will not be spending the summer with us because of school however Ill see him soon even though Im missing him more and more each passing day. In Past post i talked about carving out time in my life for me and about focusing on makeing myself a happier person. Well this I have not done. I've ventured out a bit tried to pretty up my life on the surface tried to get out more. I thought i could focus on my career and try to do what I thought would get me excited and keep me motivated but it only backfired. I just ended up pissed off and depressed looking for what I wanted and wondering what the heck I was doing with my life. I began to try and help and volunteer doing so spiritual good for others and my soul. However I helped but i put so much focus on what i could do for others that i soon realized that my focus was lost and I was giving to everyone but myself. I soon broke down I've been sad, depressed, tired, happy, fake, sleep deprived and exercise crazy. so i gained fifty pounds and began to see myself new. I cant fake being happy anymore than I can fake living and breathing. I truly want happiness and self fulfillment. I have met some wonderful friends in this process and become a greater person involved in some wonderful groups. So socially my life has had a boost. But mentally a Physically I'm drained I Feel lost and thogh I know my life Has purpose I'm struggling to find a method to the madness of it. Today was a breaking point I have a clear mind and a free flowing spirit. My children a nd husband are happy and healthy my health isssues are under control and my weight and size are going down. Last night I cried I cfried like my life was about to end I just wanted to get the sadness out into the open I wanted to be exposed after I spoke with my Friend and tried to explain why I was not happy . Im not happy because the love and energy i need to focus on myself I give to everyone else I love hard and pray hard so hard I have nothing left and I thought in doing this I would get what I needed in return and My heart was hurting because I allowed it to be hurt I gave and expected it to be given back. When I knew the expectations I had were unrealistic. No one can give you what you cant give you so im starting with this blog right here on this day in this hour. I love me and I dont care how it sounds I havent said it enough matter of fact no one has said it enough. I will continue to help, volunteer, share, love, and grow but not without giving all that I give to others to myself. I have said that I wanted another baby but now I'm not so sure I'll have to pray on that a little more just as I'll be praying and meditateing on all the big decisions I must make. This is just the Begining and im excited about whats ahead... To Loveing Me!
To This in months... Im getting there. On my way to loveing me....
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Look at em Now....
... He loved me even when my But was Hughe...
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