I love everything about spring except my allergies....Ugh! runny eyes itchy throat and the infamous post nasal drip... But on the bright side I getting great pics and sneezing all the way....Im in love with this kind of Dallas Weather not too hot and with a slight breeze. Beautiful sunrises and sunsets...starting more photography classes and learning morew and more with each passing day. My children the Justy, Kam, and Pryse.... are getting so big and more beautiful with each passing day. I Love them more than I have ever Loved Myself and thats still not the tip of the iceberg. Justus is smart and Confident secure in himself and sensitive ( He does get that from me...) I pray for him to try harder and to find out what it is he really wants to do. Hes talented and very focused when he wants to be loves the girls. Lol and they love Him...I applaud him for wanting and going after love even though I feel He is way too Young and that he has plenty of time. He smiles and tell me I know mom... Then I playfully whisper in His ear You know we don't love them hoes...as he breaks into histerickle laughter. O.K. MOM !!!! Im just trying to help him realize hurt does'nt last always and with time all wounds do heal and we must forgive to do this. Without forgivness there is no healing... I tell him to Pray and always put God First doing this he can never go wrong. He is strong and passionate He works and plays hard. he is is My eldest Prince. The one whom for so long my very existance was centered upon...He gave me purpose and He was the one I could be my true authentic self around and he loved me no matter what...Then came Aliceia Named for My Mom she was born on a cold day in December the 6th to be exact. she was a Blessing my little wonder who departed this world far too Young but so perfect that she has a place along side my Father and I couldnt imagine her being anywhere else she was my silent love my little secret in those precious moment when my body held her tiny life share with only justy they were pure joy I was very sick and I knew what was to come. I was taken to the hospital by a Great and Wonderful friend who knew I was far to thin and white and that the doctors in our tiny town were wrong. As I watched the moniter and listened to her faint heartbeat ass it receeded and came to a stop. Hours later as my body contracted in response to her delivery as I watched the primary Butterflies danceing above my head...(Gods sign to Me has always been a Butterfly this time there were twelve.) an hour later as I held her in my arms and said Goodbye forever holding her in my heart and always remembered my secret Love. Then came My Beautiful one My cupcake. My Princess Kapryse. the one who went up instead of down during delivery causing her to crash into my pelvis and bruise her beautiful brown face covered in tiny freckles and to litttle Bug eyes feeling them with blood.from the pressure. She was ok but to others who wanted to know what happened. As surprise hit their faces at her tiny bruised face and eyes all assureing me that she was going to be beautiful once her face had healed...I thought to my self shes alreday beautiful she was mine my little chocolate cupcake...whos long fingers and toes had griped the my rib cage and who stuck out her tiny hand and waved before she ever saw the light of the world then retreated to the home she knew for nine months. she was my Eugenae my fragile one. the one who at two years old told her brother that he was her Hero! And who said her first sentenc at six months old when she said Big ma get out of that salad!!! ( How we will never know but she did.) She is My petite Ballerina my Diva...The tennis star aleader a Prayer and the most Beautiful little chocolate drop I've ever seen . Before I ever had a child I knew my daughter would look just like her. She is all that i ever wanted to be and more than I could have ever asked for. She is a comedian ( she gets that from her older Brother...this makes it hard for me to punish them ...But I do none the less.)
Prysie Reesie is my peace maker. She is the only girl so naturally she's the Mother of the bunch she wants everyone to get along but because of the only girl thing she wants to be the center of attention and always the Princess. She is strong and stands up for the underdog. She talks when she needs to be listening and is prone to getting tongue lashed when she rolls those big beautiful eyes ( like we don't see them rolling...) she likes all things girly. and loves her friends like sisters she is a real Blessing to me and for me. she's taught he brothers to love girls and to treat them well and they have taught her along with my hubby just how she is supposed to be treated like she is worthy of the world and she definately is we are all better for the love she gives is a splended priceless gift and sweet as well "cupcakes". Along came kam I was on my way to the doctors office to have a consultation to get a tubal. I had my Boy and my Girl i was done I had been beaten and broke down I had been traumatised enough was enough be cause I have never been the type to play the victim i was on my way out but bussiness had to be taken care of if I was going to give my kids a chance at a better life. I went the day befor to get my depo shot just to make sure and the pregnancy test was negative...However the next morning the test results were'nt the same... She said Im so sorry we cant schedule you for your tubal ...Why i though as i looked at her with a strangeest look like she was talking chinese. she said the test was positive you are pregnant. I began to cry not because i was pregnant but because i feared I would not be able to give my kids the best life possible after all i was on my own leaveing the abusive relationship and the job i worked so hard at to start all over again. I this was not my first lesson i learning to lean and depend on the lord but it was certainly the most profound. mainly because i was the strong one. i was not suppose to find a guy and have kids with someone who beat on me after being celebate for years after I had my son I was not suppose to make all of these mistakes. I was so much smarter than I was acting. I was on birth control all three times I got pregnant I was not happy and I knew my family deserved a fighting chance and if i stayed her that would not be the case. I left with my baies and Kam a week later eight weeks pregnant at the time to start my like over where I and God were in control. I allowed him to see his child be born and frankly he didnt even deserve that. my family began to grow strong physically emotionall and spiritually this was what the Blessing that Kam brought to our lives. he brought us closer to God he brought true Joy to my Life to all our lives. Kamryn is stronge and calm he was born on my favorite aunts Birthday. He was a quiet yet determined child and yes a fighter way stronger than any child I'd ever seen he had inner strength and an old soul. He had a spirit of protection I felt safe with him there. He walked at eight months and never crwled he was my baby for a while and still grew up much to fast . he had a devilish smile all snagle tooth and when he was born he had the softest skin and milky white hands that i had ever seen or felt on any child wwened himself from the breast and. as i washed the dishes he would crouch at my feet something he still kinda does to this day only in a big boy manner...LOL He loves women has loved women all his life Nemo was his icon and he loved Gospel music in fact music was the only thing that got him really excited and of course tickleing Him...I tickled all of my children so that they are extremly tickleish to this very day. i loved to hear them laugh. Kamryn is smart with ols skool flavor he has a swagger all his own and as long as he likes it its fly. He can stand up in front of a crowed andbe seen he is a go getter though shy at times if there is a job to be done when asked he'll do it. he Loves animals they all do I suppose the boys the most though Pryse preferes babies... The mommy's always do right! each one of my children are wondeful and I would give the world to make sure they have just that. I just want them happy and healthy...i want them to know christ to have a meaning ful relationship with him. allowing and praying depending on Him to direct their paths. no one is perfect and I dont expect them to be but my children . i just want you all to Know christ and live life to the fullest. Laugh, Cry, and Live... Because only when looking back do you realize how short life really is. XOXO spring is here starting fresh and new letting ppl know how much they are Loved....
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