Today I wake up go to the bathroom wash my face and get on my knees to Pray for the last year a half or possibly two years I'll absolutely wavered in my Faith. Something I never assumed or thought would happen. i was always so focused and sure of my Faith when I was sure of nothing else. These years have been filled with break downs a tears Hope and realization. That i could not have come to otherwise I've been tested and Tried hurt myself more than i thought possible and often wondered how I got through. But By Grace I made it still going through but Thanking My Father all the way. I am Humbled beyond measure Knowing God knows Me!!!! He Knows my name, He hears my voice and He is With Me. through My Hell and My Happiest of days even in my doubt Hes never left or given up on Me. I'm going through at this very moment but I know he sees and has already laid a Plan for my life for my children and for obstacles ahead. With that being said I have recently lft my home to help with my Grandmother and for the last two months I've been discovering that there are no coincidences...(Thanks Rateeka!) There are well laid Plans life throws us things some good and some evil and that's why we have to Pray and seek understanding and wisdom I have been tested in my Love walk. But I'm still here living and loving on everyone i can still Praying for change in situations that I can't fix Having faith that God will make sense and give direction to all involved. i've recently lost an friend whom I called Mama Mrs. Sandra Bulloch. Shes's touched my life in so many ways she was a Friend a confidant someone to laugh and cry with she was special in so many ways a very spirited woman and I'm told that I changed her in some very unique ways as well. We were not of the same race or even generation she was 74 years young and at the end of her life became a very different person and I rejoice in the fact that I had the chance to meet know and Love her. I know I'm Blessed... I've also been told recently that my father is Going to pass with no time being certain I long for him.... Yes I a Grown woman find my self pulling memories from the corners of my heart and mind that cause me to long for my Daddy. I've always been strong but the though of losing a person a Man who is responsible for you being here is almost more than I can bare at times. My Children are getting older And I find Myself Clinging to whatever time I have with them asking God to slow it down to give me those moments back life is so short and full of so many uncertainties. Prayer, Hope, Meditation and Time are all a constant when It comes to my Children Hoping we did the right thing and Praying they are strong and Brave and make the best possible choices for their life. Asking God to protect , Lead and Guide them. I and My life are changing has anyone else been through this?
What is next for my Family, my Children Our Lives and The People we affect by the choices we make. only God knows. I'm just Thankful for another day to live Pray and Make changes where I see fit I will love harder and cherish the days moments and memories I'm given trusting that theres a plan in Place. Knowing no matter what All is well And Tests are only Temporary.
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